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A few weeks ago I told you there were five distinct sales identities most founders operate from — and then I left you hanging. “More on that another week,” I said.

This is the week.

But fair warning before we start: four of these five are the same problem wearing four different disguises. See if you can spot yours.

Back in a previous post we talked about how identity is the real ceiling — that you can hand a reluctant seller the perfect script and they'll still find a way not to use it, because tactics live downstream of who you believe you are. These five identities are what that looks like up close. Which one you're running explains almost everything about where you get stuck.

Here they are.

1. The Referral Rider. Your growth depends entirely on other people sending you work. You might be sitting there thinking, "But a referral-only business is the ultimate proof of quality!" And if that's you, YES! I agree, relying on word-of-mouth means you do incredible work. And... it also m
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Early in my career, I thought my job was to be the whole solution. Beat the other reps, win the deal, be the hero.

It made selling exhausting. And it kept me stuck in a game I didn't even want to play.

Here's what changed everything: I realized I didn't have to be the whole solution. I just had to be the right piece of it.

That one shift is freeing. When you move out of vendor mode and into partner mode, you're no longer fighting to prove you're better than everyone else. Instead, you get to help someone see the whole picture and show them exactly where you fit into it. When a client believes you understand where they are, where they want to go, and that what you offer helps them get there, you've created something a pitch never could: an invitation.

Because sales is not an event. It's a natural progression that leads to an invitation for someone to experience a different outcome.

I learned the transactional sale early, first as an 8-year-old selling Girl Scout cookies door to doo...

I didn't know I loved planting flowers until we moved into a house that came with flower boxes.

That first year of planting season, I agonized over what to plant where, convinced there was a "right way" to do it, and that all the spaces needed to be filled at the beginning (not realizing the growth would occur over the course of the summer).

You and I both know that feeling. It’s the belief that there is a secret "right way" you have to say something in sales to "get" the deal, or that a prospect needs all the information up front.

I agree, the pressure to be "perfect" is real. It’s also exactly what makes you sound like a robot. But here is the shift: the "structure" of a sales process isn't there to give you a script. It's there to let you be the expert.

 The next year, I dropped the "script" but kept the boxes. I realized the boxes weren't there to make me rigid; they were there to give the flowers a place to grow on purpose. 

What if I told you the sales process is just the “b...

Have you ever hit a major milestone — the kind you worked toward for months or even years — only to find yourself wondering why it doesn’t feel the way you thought it would?

You achieved the goal. You got the recognition. You reached the level you were chasing.

So why does it feel… heavier than expected?

A fellow founder recently shared that her book had won multiple awards. It was the kind of accomplishment most people would celebrate without hesitation.

But then she admitted something that stopped me:

"Why does it feel so weird to win?"

And I knew exactly what she meant.

When Success Starts Feeling Like a Costume

Part of it is that many of us are not very good at receiving success.

We can easily celebrate someone else’s achievements. We can encourage our friends, colleagues, and team members when they win.

But when the spotlight turns toward us?

That can feel uncomfortable.

For some founders, it goes deeper. Somewhere along the way, they learned that standing out was risk...

You and I both know that a full pipeline is the only thing standing between you and a stress-free finish to the year. Recently we talked about how you finish the back half of the year — whether you close it out like the Knicks or fizzle out at the end like the Spurs. Strong finishes don't happen by accident. They happen because the pipeline's persistently full and a consistent cadence of outreach generates the right work walking in the door.

But there's a layer underneath all of that, and if we skip it, no finishing kick in the world will save you. Most founders don't realize that the real threat to their growth isn't a lack of tactics—it’s a hidden identity crisis they aren't even aware they're having.

It's the story you tell yourself about selling.

Here's what I hear, almost word for word, from brilliant professional services founders. I’m talking consultants, agency owners, advisors, fractional execs. The people whose product is themselves: "I'm not really a salesperson." "Sales ...

It's halftime of your business year. Six months down, six to go.

So here's the only question that matters this week: based on the first half, are you the Spurs or the Knicks?

If you watched any of the NBA Finals, you already know why that question isn't rhetorical.

Imagine you’re on the road, the season is on the line, and you’re facing a Spurs team that has dominated every minute. Now, picture the scoreboard: you’re down 29 points (27 at the half). By every reasonable measure, it’s over.

In Game 4, the Knicks were down 29 — the largest deficit any team has ever erased in Finals history.

They won. And three nights later they were champions for the first time in 53 years.

So before you write off your own first six months — or quietly assume your lead is safe — I want you to sit with this question: Is your current "score" a permanent reality or just a halftime report?

Your business could be either team

You could be up 29. Coasting, comfortable, assuming the lead holds and that wh...

If you’re like most founders I talk to, you’d probably describe your growth as “successful... but sporadic”. You recognize that business development is necessary, but let’s be honest: you don’t love doing it. There’s that nagging fear of being perceived as "salesy," so you stick to what feels safe—referrals and warm introductions.

But relying solely on referrals is like living on a “heartbeat monitor”. You experience a month of peak revenue while you’re busy delivering, followed by sixty days of flatline silence because you weren't "hunting" while you were working. Because referrals don't compound and can't be forecasted, this approach makes scaling your business feel like a mathematical impossibility.

When the pipeline inevitably dries up, the natural instinct is to try and "out-hustle" the silence. Maybe you’ve even tried going to more networking events or sending those "just checking in" emails you hate.

However, a dry pipeline isn’t a "hustle" problem—it’s the invisible symptom ...

After a recent mastermind, something I've known intellectually finally landed: success isn't about piling on more—it's about peeling back what no longer serves. Here's what I'm learning as I simplify and refocus my business, and I hope it helps yours.

The thread I keep pulling on: somewhere along the way, business got harder than it needs to be. You started your company to help people—bringing a unique skill, perspective, or solution that could genuinely improve lives or workflows. That was the essence of your venture. Then, the business grew. Revenue climbed. Support needs expanded. Offers multiplied. Systems piled up. And before you knew it, what once energized you now feels heavy. If you run a service-based business, I'm willing to bet you recognize this feeling.

So, here are my reflections—not prescriptions. Take what's useful, leave the rest.

Let Go to Let In

I keep returning to this question: What am I holding on to that no longer serves me?

Maybe for you, it's an outdated o...

This week I kicked off a new Sales Growth Sprint with a group of professional services founders—speakers, consultants, advisors. All seasoned professionals and successful. Different businesses. Same core struggle.

When I asked what they wanted five weeks from now, the answers were familiar:

• A stronger pipeline 
• More confidence selling 
• Clearer offers 
• Consistent revenue 

But here’s the truth that shifted the conversation:

Growth never outpaces identity. 

(While it’s true growth can outpace identity initially, that’s often what triggers being overbooked, overwhelmed, and lacking the right support. In that panic, you retreat and retract.) 

Sustainable growth—the kind that leads to expansion rather than contraction—never outpaces your identity. 

If you see yourself as the expert who only gets work through referrals, your business will behave that way: reactive, unpredictable, dependent on others. 

If you see yourself as someone who only sells when things slow down, your rev...

Over the holidays—during what we now know was the calm before the storm—I watched a series called The Playbook: A Coach’s Rules for Life.

One of the coaches featured was Doc Rivers, reflecting on the 2008 Boston Celtics championship. A team that hadn’t won in 22 years. A team stacked with talent that didn’t become a team until they embraced one idea:

Ubuntu.

A Zulu and Xhosa word often translated as I am because we are. More fully, Ubuntu reflects a belief in shared humanity, compassion, and deep interconnectedness. That who we become is shaped by how we treat one another. That restoration—not domination—is how we move forward.

Desmond Tutu famously used Ubuntu during South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation process. Not to erase harm. Not to avoid accountability. But to bring people back to one another so something new could be built.

That word hit me hard—because 2008 was also the year I was in South Africa.

I was there working in a rural village with a group of women business o...