Discovering Who You Are is Life’s Work

Aug 27, 2019

Maybe it's because graduation just came and went, or because people try to remember being a kid in the throes of summer. It feels like there's been an over-abundance of statements made around how it's the job of a young adult to discover and define themselves.

Several times a week, this phrase has popped up in conversation, news stories, podcasts. I'm throwing down the BS flag!

While it's true that fostering and exploring interests is needed in youth, it's also true that figuring out who you want to be and what you want to do with your life is rarely figured out during this time. The human brain isn't fully developed until the age of 25 in young men, 23 for young women. The pressure that society puts on us to have it all figured out is both unnecessary and limiting. It's a significant contributor to the stress and anxiety so much of the population is experiencing, so it's no wonder the anxiety rate of teens has also escalated.

Add to this the "passion" pressure. Some really do...

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What if you didn't resist

Aug 15, 2019

How much of your day are you spending on "shoulds" "need tos" and "have tos"?

A friend recently heard me say I needed to do more of something, and she busted me. She pointed out that "need to" is a sign of someone else's agenda. 

Since then, I've been listening more closely to the way executive leaders describe what's urgent or getting in their way. There are a lot of “shoulds”, “need tos” and “have tos” in their vocabulary, too. Sometimes they're directed at others, but in large part, they are referring to what they need to accomplish.

These are phrases filled with resistance (resistance meaning a refusal to comply with or accept.) We all resist. Our brains are hardwired to keep old habits and to seek instant gratification instead of delayed gratification. Beyond the shoulds and have-tos, there's a desire to do something different, to have control over our time. The have-tos are a clue to things you'd rather not be doing.

If this seems...

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