A friend recently heard me say I needed to do more of something, and she busted me. She pointed out that "need to" is a sign of someone else's agenda.
Since then, I've been listening more closely to the way executive leaders describe what's urgent or getting in their way. There are a lot of “shoulds”, “need tos” and “have tos” in their vocabulary, too. Sometimes they're directed at others, but in large part, they are referring to what they need to accomplish.
These are phrases filled with resistance (resistance meaning a refusal to comply with or accept.) We all resist. Our brains are hardwired to keep old habits and to seek instant gratification instead of delayed gratification. Beyond the shoulds and have-tos, there's a desire to do something different, to have control over our time. The have-tos are a clue to things you'd rather not be doing.
If this seems obvious, then try asking yourself — what DO I...
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